Roses & Rosé: Bachelor Week 1 Thoughts

I’m usually not one who regularly enjoys watching reality TV, unless we’re talking about a little show called The Bachelor. I’d always heard about it growing up, my friends and their moms would sit down to watch it together and then they would gossip about all the contestants the next day while I pretended to know what they were talking about and laughed alongside them all the while thinking “wtf” over and over in my head. My mom would occasionally tune in, and so I would sporadically watch it, but never really understood the hype. It wasn’t until my junior year of college that I really started getting into it. It was Chris Soules season and to be honest it was totally Ashley Salter (onion girl) and crazy Kelsey (faked a panic attack) who drew me in, not Chris (sorry dude, but you were kinda blah). Soon, I was one of those girls I swore that I would never be, tuning in every Monday night and getting seriously invested in each of the contestants. Now, several years later, I’m a huge fan of the entire franchise (Bachelor in Paradise being my favorite, obviously). When you really think about it, the whole premise of the show is pretty messed up and disgusting. One guy dating thirty different women. Thirty different women competing against each other for ONE guy. I’m sorry but not even Scott Eastwood is worth all that trouble, and that’s saying something coming from me. And although the show can be awful and downright degrading, it makes for some incredibly entertaining television. Now, since Nick Viall’s season premiered last night, I plan on sharing my thoughts on the previous nights episode every Tuesday. I’m not going to be writing recaps, you can find those on Entertainment Weekly or TV Guide or something like that. I’m just going to be sharing my honest thoughts and opinions on all thing Bachelor!

The Bachelor Himself, Mr. Nick Viall- When Nick was announced as this seasons “bachelor”, there was a lot of controversy. This is actually his fourth time appearing in the franchise; twice on The Bachelorette and once on Bachelor in Paradise. He is kinda known to be a bit of a jackass and was portrayed as “the villain” in both Andi and Kaitlyn’s seasons (he also came in second in both seasons). His stint on BIP this past summer was so obviously supposed to be his redemption in preparation for being the next “bachelor”. And, to be honest, it actually worked. I really enjoyed him on BIP, his honesty was great and he pretty much owned his cockiness. I’m not saying he’s a guy I would ever even begin to think about dating, hell I wouldn’t even recommend a friend date him, but I think he’d be a pretty chill friend to have. I’m totally okay with him being this seasons “bachelor” and I think it’s absolutely hilarious he signed on to do this for a FOURTH time (plus he’s pretty easy on the eyes). He’s obviously getting paid a pretty penny because I don’t want to believe anyone would subject themselves to going through this process not once, twice or even three times…but four. It’s funny.bachelor-900x506

The Contestants- I think that the producers decided that they really needed to up the diversity on this season. (Inspiration from UnReal season two, anyone?) For once the brunettes actually outweigh the blondes. Although, I do think the diversity thing was lost that first night when basically every contestant showed up wearing a red dress. I feel like the producers probably encouraged them all to wear red to create some major drama (seriously guys, watch UnReal, it’s made me question literally EVERYTHING about this show). There has to be drama or else its boring and ratings and numbers go down and all that jazz. Now, on to specifics, I’m just going to talk about a few of the standouts from night one; some good, some bad and some just downright nuts.

  • Alexis “The Sharkolphin”- THIS. GIRL. Hands down my favorite part of this episode. She’s a 23 year old “aspiring dolphin trainer” who shows up wearing a shark costume and heels. The best part is that she actually believes what she’s wearing is a dolphin costume. Literally everyone corrects her and she refuses to believe them. She then proceeds to get absolutely hammered and gets into the pool while still WEARING HER COSTUME and starts doing dolphin mating calls. This girl is dedicated to her passion for dolphins. I think one of the reasons I loved this girl so much was because she seriously reminded me of my college roommate. I’m positive that if she were a contestant this would be her. (Hi Bren! Love ya) Oh, and the best part? She gets a rose. I am so looking forward to seeing more sharkolphin next week.dolphinsharkolphin
  • Vanessa “Trilingual Gorgeous Italian Canadian Special Ed Teacher”- This girl is who I’m pegging to win. She’s a triple threat: Intelligent, successful and kind. Nick would be an idiot not to chose her. Also, she looks like Andi, so definitely has that going for her. She seems like she has herself together and is just ready to settle down. Not sure why she chose to do it on TV in front of the entire country, but hey, whatever floats your boat.vanessa.gif
  • Corinne Olympios- I have a bad feeling about this one, guys. She’s the obvious villain for the season, having aggressively stolen the first kiss from Nick and then bragging about it. The girls obviously already think she’s a bit of uhh…harlot? Ha, just trying to be PC here. She says she runs her parents “multi-million dollar company” but does anyone actually know what that is? She definitely has a go-getter attitude, which is great in a boardroom, but can for sure be taken wrong in a competition for love. I do think she might actually make it through pretty far, mainly because Nick strikes me as the type of guy who might be into a little crazy.slutty corinne.gif
  • Liz “I Hooked Up with Nick 9 Months Ago and Need to Constantly Remind the Audience of this to Prove that I’m not Intimidated by Other Girls Getting More Time With Him”- Girl, why are you even on this show?? Nick even said you could have easily gotten his number if you wanted to rekindle. For goodness sake, you’re Jade’s BEST FRIEND. This girl is up to something. But what?liz

Okay, well there you have it, my thoughts on week one of The Bachelor. Let me know what you thought of last nights episode in the comments below!

xoxo,

Gossip Girl

 

 

JK it’s still me, Samantha.

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